64tacos

7 Deadly Quizes

2006-05-14T09:46:00.000-04:00

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Times Beena Movin Slow, Since We Both Got Here

2006-05-13T21:16:00.000-04:00

I reported to work at 730 this morning. The car I was working on when I left was patiently waiting for me to finish it. I finished my inspection, put a new air filter in it, gave it a fresh set of wipers, preformed an oil change and put 2 new tires on the front. This took me a leisurely 1.5 hours. I didnt work on a single car the rest of the day. I spent the next 6.5 hours looking at tools on eBay, eating lasagna and smoking cigarettes. It was a very slow day. Very.. very... very.... slllooooooowwwwwww.

Youre Beautiful, Youre Beautiful.

2006-05-12T18:43:00.000-04:00

The bottom line is theyre blue, fire retardant and have my name sewn into them. Im loving it... Thats right, my uniforms came in today. I dont know why its such a big deal but it is. Perhaps its because I dont stick out like hemorrhoids in spandex anymore. It might be the fact that I dont have to wash them. But I think its the pocket. My first couple days sucked because I didnt have a pocket for my pen, little screw driver, tread depth gauge and air pressure gauge.

The Beauty of Grey

2006-05-10T18:48:00.000-04:00

Today was my second day at my new job. For those of you who didnt know I left Sears to work at one of the local Ford dealerships. There are a lot of major differences. The most notable of which include, much better hours and I get my own bay. On the down side I had to purchase about $864 worth of tools just to have the minimum that I need to perform my duties every day. And in the 2 days Ive been there Ive used every tool I bought (or a part of the set). Also, Im not as busy here as I was at Sears. Fortunately my wage is based on how many hours I work, rather than how much work I do.

Gimmie Some Love, Gimmie Some Love, Gimmie Some, I Want You To Know

2006-05-08T20:22:00.000-04:00

2 stupid bloggers made similar resolutions at the beginning of the year. They are following through on these resolutions to different degrees. In late February Shedu and I settled up on our tibs. Since then neither has been tibbed for blogger lag. Well Ive tallied up the tibs owed for the months of March and April. For March Shedu gets to tib me 4 times and I get to tib him 10 times. For April he gets to tib me 2 times and I get to tib him 14 times. Theres something the rest of you tibbers might want to keep in mind. If you blog, you are entitled to tib Shedu or I also. Youll have to count up the tibs owed yourself but you are entitled. I would like to add an addendum to the original resolution though since I dont see some of you for 6-4 months at a time. All tibs expire after 3 months.

The Jacket

2006-05-06T23:40:00.000-04:00

Watch it!

In Cold Blood

2006-05-03T22:34:00.000-04:00

Watch It!

Everybody Looks Good In A Purple Mustache

2006-05-01T01:22:00.000-04:00

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

2006-04-30T21:54:00.000-04:00

Watch It?

The Mexican

2006-04-29T00:41:00.000-04:00

Dont Watch It.

Just Like Heaven

2006-04-27T00:12:00.000-04:00

Dont Watch It.

Stachin

2006-04-25T19:13:00.000-04:00

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Its almost time. Mustache month is just around the corner. Just 6 more days!!! Whats mustache month you ask? Only the best idea 3 idiots ever came up with. Everyone is invited, and strongly encouraged to shave down to or grow out to a glorious mustache in May. I know I will be and I have faith that the Ugly Kid and Shedu will too.

Children Cant Lie

2006-04-24T10:26:00.000-04:00

Stemshuls creature-nemesis:

The Dreaded ALYKAT64

'What creature will become your nemesis?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Logs and Boulders

2006-04-23T09:29:00.000-04:00

I have a blog on which I like to write. I have a blog on which I start fights. You have the time to read my blogs. You know its not sticks I throw but rather logs. When (not if) my blog displeases you, Dont ask What Would Tom Cruise Do. You should not be upset you see, Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Monties

2006-04-22T23:59:00.000-04:00

My lady friend and I decided to indulge my sister and her boyfriend this evening and went out to the bar with them. We were not allowed into our intended destination however because I was wearing "work boots." You know, low brow Doc Martins. Obviously any foot ware that goes above your ankle is unfit for public wearing. As for this, Ill address you tomorrow. When Im not so tired.

Pin A Rose on My Nose

2006-04-21T12:54:00.000-04:00

I saved a life yesterday! I voluntarily subjected myself to giving away one of my Nutty Bars. I am someones hero. Of course I did not only do this out of the goodness of my heart, to be honest getting on my coworkers good side doesnt hurt. I mean if I really wanted to be totally selfless I could have given him both Nutty Bars, but seriously, they are the tastiest treat youll ever eat. I think I deserve at least that much for the bruise that I now have. It was all worth it though. Someone in this world got good use out of my "Grade A" desert! Oh, and an added benefit of donating part of your lunch is that it actually speeds up your metabolism! Too bad you can only donate 2 Nutty Bars at a time or else the "Desert Donation Diet" could be the next big thing.

Must Love Dogs

2006-04-20T01:18:00.000-04:00

Dont Watch It.

Coach Carter

2006-04-19T23:16:00.000-04:00

Watch It.

If I Had to Fight You, Id Say No!

2006-04-14T21:02:00.000-04:00

I finally did it, almost. Ive been intending to rake, depoop, mow, seed and fertilize my lawn for about 6 weeks now. Knowing that I would put it off indefinitely (as I do with all the things I want to do) I decided that I would give myself a project every week. This weeks project is the yard (phase I). I accomplished my objective with the exception of putting the seed and fertilizer down. Since I work 10 hours tomorrow it doesnt look like Ill meet my deadline. Perhaps Ill do it Sunday.

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

2006-04-12T22:41:00.000-04:00

Watch it.

You Shook Me So Hard Baby

2006-04-12T16:29:00.000-04:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		12
Words of Affirmation:		8
Quality Time:		7
Acts of Service:		3
Receiving Gifts:		0

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Come Sail Away With Me

2006-04-09T22:25:00.000-04:00

My beautiful wife blogged the shit out of the cruise we went on, therefore, I will not blog very much on the topic. I would like to share this with you all though... One sunny afternoon St. Marys 7 and I went up to the 11th floor of the ship. This is for all practical purposes the top of the ship (with the exception of a couple special decks). Its also where the pools and hot tubs are. She bathed in the sun while I swam in the 6' deep saltwater pool with the other children. The childrans became annoying quickly so I decided to try the hot tubs. As I approached tubs I noticed that one had 8 people in it and the other only had 4. I then noticed that the 8 were all white and the 4 were all black. Naturally I got in the hot tub that was less occupied. As soon as I sat down all 4 of the African Americans went silent. They looked at one another as if to ask, why did that white man just sit down in this hot tub. After a short moment of silence they resumed their discussions and we all enjoyed the bubbles.

Ladder 49

2006-04-08T22:09:00.000-04:00

Watch it.

A Love Story With 2 Happy Endings

2006-04-01T20:14:00.000-05:00

Lately Ive been holding back on my comments. Many a time Ive typed a very angry and spiteful comment you some of your blogs, read it over then deleted it because it was to over the top. Not that what I was writing wasnt how I felt. Lord knows it certainly was. For some reason I decided to censor myself. Ive displayed restraint. You might say that I shouldnt do that. But if you knew what Ive deleted you might change your mind. In short, Ive deleted some horrible things that I wanted to post. I dont regret deleting them and I dont regret feeling them.

If I Was Tall, Red and Angry This Is How Id Feel

2006-03-31T22:22:00.000-05:00

1. three names you go by: - katohater - uncle redboy - man squeeze 2. three things that scare you: - failing my blogging responsibility - the day after tomorrow - the sun 3. three of your everyday essentials: - anger - biker bums - special lady friend 4. three things you are wearing right now: - dr. pepper pants - lemon head t-shirt - glasses 5. three things you need in a relationship (other than true love): - anger - a height advantage of at least 18 inches - she must have vampire slaying skills 6. three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: - eyes - eyes - eyes 7. three things you want to do really badly right now: - eat tacos - watch dvds - kill stemshul 8. three things you want to do before you die: - take more quizzes - take more quizzes - take more quizzes 9. three ways that you are stereotypically a guy/gal: - i like video games - i love schwarzenegger movies - i don’t shave my legs 10. three people i would like to see take this quiz: (even though it’s not so much a ‘quiz’ as a questionnaire) - riplet - hudsy budsy - mr. b

Cat Woman

2006-03-31T22:09:00.000-05:00

Dont Watch It!

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd:

2006-03-31T00:02:00.000-05:00

You girls. I dont know who started all this but it reeks of the days when Ikyam would forward god only knows what to everyone who was foolish enough to give him their email address. You might say "well we all take the same quizzes and thats not any different." Well its not the same. Nobody puts your name at the end of this quiz and says they want you to take it too. But, and this should in no way be considered approval of these activities because I certainly dont condone it, I will take the test. 1. Three names you go by: - Honey - Dan - Asshole 2. Three things that scare you: - Spiders - Finding out Im not actually as awesome as everyone thinks I am - Teenage girls 3. Three of your everyday essentials: - A hot shower - The internets - A kiss from my wife 4. Three things you are wearing right now: - Wedding ring - Stupid Nike shirt my mother in law gave me for xmas 6 years ago - Blue and grey boxer briefs 5. Three things you need in a relationship (other than true love): - Sex - Sex - Sex 6. Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: - Dark hair - A nice butt (giggle giggle) - A good mischievous grin 7. Three things you want to do really badly right now: - Sleep - Sleep - Sleep 8. Three things you want to do before you die: - Have sex in every state - Live somewhere other than West Michigan - Buy an RV and travel the U.S. for at least a year 9. Three ways that you are stereotypically a Guy/Gal: - I fart - I love tools - I love electronics? 10. Three people I would like to see take this quiz: (Even though it’s not so much a ‘quiz’ as a questionnaire) - Noone - Noone - Noone

Its Been A Long Time Since I Rock N Rolled

2006-03-30T23:25:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was going through the archives looking for one of my old posts. As I did so I noticed that most of them were about all the stupid shit that would happen at the pizza places that Ive worked at. It wasnt hard to post on a regular basis back then. Somethings changed. I just dont have the anger I used to have anymore. While my new job isnt perfect, its a hell of a lot better than working with food. Not that the food was ever the problem. Theres something about being able to hide in the shop and never have to talk to customers. The only thing I have to worry about is my stupid coworkers (who really arent that bad) and rusted bolts.

Secret Destroyers

2006-03-29T23:13:00.000-05:00

The shop I work at does a lot of tire sales. As a byproduct of this, we have several old tires stored away by the end of the week. What does one do with dozens upon dozens of old tires you ask? They call Larrys Tire Disposal. Every week Larry, a man who looks very much like Bruce McCulloch, comes and loads a large box truck up with all our used tires.

Monsters Ball

2006-03-28T00:50:00.000-05:00

Watch it?

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

2006-03-25T21:48:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

V for Vendetta

2006-03-20T10:02:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

Hide and Seek

2006-03-18T23:02:00.000-05:00

Dont Watch It!

Starsky and Hutch

2006-03-17T22:56:00.000-05:00

Dont Watch It.

Runaway Jury

2006-03-15T11:49:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

Wearer Number 10

2006-03-13T22:21:00.000-05:00

Thats what I am. Im wearer number 10. My uniforms came in at work today and theyre glorious. Well, theyre not that glorious, infact theyre used and have seen better days. I probably just selected one of the older ones today. The bottom line is theyre blue, fire retardant and have my name sewn into them. Im loving it.

Button

2006-03-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

Buttons are small disk or barrel shaped knobs that are attached to an article of clothing. They serve as fasteners when passed through a loop or button hole. Buttons are commonly made from bone, wood, coral, shell, metal, or ceramic. Magical buttons cannot be discerned from mundane buttons without the use of a detect magic spell.

The Forgotten

2006-03-03T22:16:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

Babys Got A Fever

2006-03-01T21:03:00.000-05:00

I had my first day at my new job today. It wasnt an actual work day but I got paid to be there. Paid to spend 5 hours infront of a computer reading company policies and doing little activities and taking review tests. I now know everything you could ever want to know about discrimination and lifting with your legs.

Shes My One And Only

2006-02-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

I got the call today. I am officially a monkey now. I will be getting paid real money to fix peoples cars. I get oriented tomorrow. There is much excitement in the air. Soon I will be done with the pizza.

Secondhand Lions

2006-02-26T20:43:00.000-05:00

Watch it!

Million Dollar Baby

2006-02-26T18:20:00.000-05:00

Watch it!

"Thats A Lady Skating"

2006-02-23T23:27:00.000-05:00

Well with Michelle not competing Im really not sure why theyre even holding this event. Womens figure skating that is. This is the first time in 12 years she hasnt competed in the Olympics and Im not sure the American fans know what to do. Side bar- My stupid cat that doesnt let anyone pet her is rubbing up against my stupid dog that needs everyone to pet him. OK, well it looks like Sasha is getting a medal and Japan is also going to get its first medal of the games. Thats all Ive got.

Crazy Go Nuts

2006-02-22T21:16:00.000-05:00

Watchin the Olympics again. Right now their doing Womens Arials. This stuff is pretty cool. Crazy women strapping 6' long boards on their feet and then jumping 50" in the air and spinning around in every direction over and over again on their way down. Im down with it. Im really excited about the Mans 500 Meter Short Track thats coming up. Old 3 names is sure get his ass kicked by the Koreans. I dont even know if theres Koreans in the race. I am sure that Ohno will get his ass kicked by some though. Image found here.

Wicker Park

2006-02-20T01:08:00.000-05:00

Dont Watch It.

The Island

2006-02-18T01:17:00.000-05:00

Dont Watch It!

Happy Birthday Charlie

2006-02-17T22:20:00.000-05:00

Ice dancing is on right now. I hate ice dancing. Not even my wife likes ice dancing and she was a figure skater her entire childhood. "Its the ugly stepsister of figure skating" she says. Im so upset about it that I cant even continue to complain. Fin.

The Sea Would Electricute Us All

2006-02-16T23:41:00.000-05:00

OK, so up next on the Olympics is the Skeleton. This event is insane. These people get on this little sled thats just more than 6.4 centimeters off the ice. They lay down on thier stomach and go face first. Durring their trip they reach speeds in exces of 120km/hr. So heres what Ive decided after watching this. Ill go get a helmet and some knee pads, get on my creeper and then one of you can pull me down the highway behind one of your cars.

Brokeback Short Track

2006-02-15T23:43:00.000-05:00

We were watching the Olympics again tonight. For the most part it was pretty boring. What caught my attention was the big game of grab ass that people like to call Short-track speed skating: 5000 meter relay. These guys take turns going around this little track. When one guy is done with his turn the next guy gets in front of him and then the done guy pushes the new guys butt (yeah 3 8s) as hard as he can. Homophobia aside this event proves to be pretty interesting. Youve got 16 mans out on the ice at one time and theyre constantly getting in each others way and if they make the smallest mistake theyll likely get a limb chopped off by another mans knife shoe.

Baby You Can Drive My Car

2006-02-14T20:21:00.000-05:00

Well its that day again. All the girls at work asked me what I was doing for my wife today. And every time I responded: Nothing. Typical man, thats not very nice, blah blah blah. Yeah, I hear it every year. And every year I respond with: I dont love her any more today than I do any other day so what makes this day so special? Along time ago, when my beautiful wife and I started dating, I told her that I dont observe Hallmark holidays. That doesnt mean your not going to get flowers and candy or that I dont love you. Ill get you those things when I want, not when Russell Stover says I should. And thats what I do. I get her things and its a surprise, its genuine and I think she prefers it that way. I explained all this to a couple of the girls that were very persistent about me being an asshole. Then one of them said, "Well we (girlfriends and wives) need one day." Then she tells me that I have to find out what her boyfriend is doing for her (he works there too). When I find out Im to report to her. That way, if hes doing something for her she can do something for him but if hes not then shes not going to bother. I told her she should just go buy him some flowers and give them to him regardless of what hes going to do. She didnt like that idea. What kind of world do we live in? Its gotten to the point where women focus so much on a select few days because their husbands/boyfriends/pimps dont know how to take care of them all year round. It makes me sad. I know that not all women are like this and not all men dont know how to treat their ladies. Anger works better with broad sweeping generalizations.

God Will Have His Way

2006-02-13T23:34:00.000-05:00

Holy shit! This Chineese girl just got the shit tibbed out of her. She didnt point but as we know god requires no points. It was in the pairs skating event and they were trying a 'throw quadruple salchow'. Now I dont know what makes it a salchow but what it comes down to is the guy picks the girl up and throws her and she spins around 4 times and lands on one skate. Well she missed and got wrecked hard core. Well thats the end of the program you think right. This girls knee caps have to be shattered and her femur has probably pulled out of her hip. Nope. They finished the program and got the silver metal. Fuck Texas, dont mess with China.

Out With the Jelly, In With the Ketchup

2006-02-12T23:07:00.000-05:00

Looks like Michelle is done. She wont be taking the gold home ever which is sad and all but we can all rejoice knowing that the Flying Tomato will be blinging it up. Picture found here.

Kunta Kinte

2006-02-11T23:27:00.000-05:00

For several Olympics now Ive been quite confused by the American athletes official outfits. Why do they say Roots on them, I would ask myself. Perhaps they really like everyones favorite 9 hour long slavery epic. Or maybe it has something to do with botany. Or maybe Im just really dumb and its the name of the company that makes the outfits. As tradition dictates, I am really dumb. Roots is the official outfitter of the 2006 U.S. Olympic team.

Imagine

2006-02-10T23:33:00.000-05:00

I love the Olympics. I dont care about them one iota when its the off time. For some reason though, I feel compelled to take the 2 weeks off and upgrade my cable so I get all of NBCs affiliates so I dont miss a second. The opening ceremonies is one of my favorite parts. Theres all kinds of weird music and dancing and lights and pyrotechnics and balloons and Ferraris and small childrans singing. Then theres the lighting of the torch. Its just magical. Its like Disney World without the whole girlfriend cheating on you part. (Perhaps a little too personal but I dont mind being bitter.) What its really all about is the bling. How many shiny things can the good old USA take home? How many of our mans and womans can go the fastest down a hill or around a circle? How many can jump the farthest or prettiest? Will I finally understand what the hell curling is? These are the questions that the next 2 weeks are all about. Image found here.

Breakin the Law Breakin the Law

2006-02-09T00:18:00.000-05:00

So I can be like my friends, Im changing my New Years Resolutions.

Smoke less (unless I feel like smoking more)
No fast food (unless I want some)
Post every day (unless I dont)

Thats all.

Dear Mr Shedubeard

2006-02-06T16:14:00.000-05:00

Currently all those who are able to tib due to the Blog Post Consistency Resolution/Promise of 2006 are also using Blogger. As stated in the resolution they can only tib if they have posted during said neglected time. In order to tib they are just as likely to be blocked by said technical difficulties. Therefore, the shortcomings of the software act as a protector as much as an inhibitor. Addendum denied. However, if you would like to admit to your lust for small boys and retract your resolution, it shall be permitted.

Mr and Mrs Smith

2006-02-06T01:05:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

Hitch

2006-02-04T23:20:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

People in Masks Can Not be Trusted

2006-02-03T23:34:00.000-05:00

I really dont have much. Just that I hate people who order pizzas and have their dogs loose when I go to their house.

21 Grams

2006-02-01T21:54:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

I am Batman

2006-01-31T10:42:00.000-05:00

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern		75%
Batman		75%
Superman		65%
Spider-Man		60%
Supergirl		52%
Robin		50%
The Flash		50%
Hulk		50%
Iron Man		50%
Wonder Woman		47%
Catwoman		35%

Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Happy Birthday Whitey

2006-01-29T17:22:00.000-05:00

Here you go. Just what youve wanted for the last 6 months. Thats all I could put up right now. The rest will go up in another 6 months or so.

The Death Test

2006-01-29T17:11:00.000-05:00

According to our research, you'll be dead by: November 2058, at age 79 - probable cause - heart attack YOU DIE: 79.4 years AVERAGE MALE LIFE SPAN: 72.5 years As you can plainly see, you have more health & vitality than the average man. WHY YOU DIE? 56% heart attack 24% car accident 13% loneliness 5% drowning of the lungs 2% wounds You have 19321.7 days left on this earth. You've already lived 33% of your life.

House of Sand and Fog

2006-01-29T00:27:00.000-05:00

Watch it!

We ain't playing for real yet

2006-01-28T23:01:00.000-05:00

This is all you get for a post today. Why? Because Shedu worked over 20 hours yesterday; that is not an exaggeration. feel free to see were he did spent his few free moments this afternoon. I go poop now. Tib fib for real.

Scarecrow

2006-01-27T23:29:00.000-05:00

Watch it!

Get Off My Mom Ryan Seacrest

2006-01-26T15:54:00.000-05:00

I get such a kick out of the first couple weeks of American Idol. I dont find the actual contest or any of the music all that interesting. I love the bad singing and mocking of it. Its high larry us. And then the devistated looks on the peoples faces when then dont go on. Man its great.

The Truth Comes To 64tacos

2006-01-25T14:42:00.000-05:00

Ive started a wiki. There isnt much there yet. Contribute.

I Come From The Land Of The Ice And Snow

2006-01-24T19:30:00.000-05:00

First, it should be said that while delivering pizzas, I dont wear a coat. I like the cold and dont like having to take it off and put it back on all the time. This is a choice I have made and dont complain about it. So, there I was, balls deep, wait, what? No. I was standing outside some stupid ladies house with here pizza in my hand. After a couple minutes she comes to the door. I hand her the credit card slip and ask her to sign it. She then notices Im only wearing a t shirt and says. Wow, its really cold out here. You must be freezing. While shes filling the slip out I explain that I like the cold and am doing fine. She then pauses her filling out to explain to me that its a blizzard out and I have to be cold. I wanted to tell her that normally people just do their part and come to the door in a timely manner and then fill their credit card slips out with out telling me Im cold. When they do that Im able to quickly return to my car and keep at a comfortable temperature. But, by this time icicles were forming on my mustache and any further talking we did only meant that she was going to have to pause again and Id be out there even longer. Image found here.

And Tell Me I Am Still, The Man Im Supposed To Be

2006-01-23T13:13:00.000-05:00

After droping my wife off at school today I started filling out applications. In the 3 hours between the drop off and work I managed to drop off 5 resumes. Most places werent hiring 'yet' but expect to start again in the next month when things start getting busy again.

I Knew You Were Going To Say That But It Really Hurts

2006-01-22T21:25:00.000-05:00

Oh man, oh man. We did some serious midnight sledding last night. It was The Ugly Kid, SM7, Whitey and her boyfriend and Mr B and Hudsy Buttons. After a failed attempt at taking the trails in the woods we headed over to one of the closer big hills in town. There were a couple other kids there taking the steep part of the hill with reckless abandon. We however, had dog power so we didnt need the steepness to gain great speed. Also there was a little ramp on the shorter end. When we got there the jump was probably about 2 feet tall. Boyfriend and I started hitting it a couple times before Ugly got there. The 2 of us probably knocked about 6 inches or so off the top. Then Ugly showed up with his frickin huge sled. Everyone but SM7 was hitting the jump by this point and we knocked another 6 inches off it. The evening was winding down so it was decided that the 4 of us jumping it up would get on the toboggan together and hit the jump. We went down and hit it nice, every one was hurting. It was decided that we needed to do it 1 more time. So, weighing in at over 640 pounds, we do it again. This time we destroyed it. All of it. We cut right through the jump, leaving it with a 2 foot wide gap down its center. We broke the sled. Our bodies still hurt. It was glorious. Image found here.

This is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarious

2006-01-22T20:40:00.000-05:00

Well, they finally came. The results are in and I am a 2 times certified mechanic. The resumes are printing and tomorrow Im going to drop as many off and fill out as many applications as I can. Image found here.

Im A Bad Bad Man

2006-01-22T20:16:00.000-05:00

My life is rated NC-17!

Your life is rated NC-17!

What is your life rated? (MPAA Scale)

Take Other Caffeine Nebula Quizzes

Monster

2006-01-21T01:05:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

Matchstick Men

2006-01-20T23:08:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

I Feel Bad When I See Fat People Eating

2006-01-19T02:55:00.000-05:00

OK, heres the real post for the 18th. Shedus car broke down while he was at work today. Being the good friend that I am I came and let him use my AAA towing so that we could get it over to my house for free. While we were waiting for the tow truck to come I had to pee really bad. I decided to go and pee in the bushs that were near us. With urine flowing at full force I heard someone walking on the other side of the bushes toward me. Un certain of what to do, I decided to pinch it off and duck down. The intruder walked by and I was left to my 'privacy' again. I finished the job and ran back to the my truck. Just before I get there I hit a patch of ice and fall to the ground. Had I just fallen, this story would not have been told. What happened on the way down is whats news worth. Both of my knees hit the step bar. Shedu, who was sitting in the passenger seat when this all went down, later told the ugly kid: "I saw him running to the truck and then he was gone. I opened his door and heard a wretched screaming. It was glorious." Well he might not have said it exactly like that but thats how itll go down in the record. The bottom line is, I didnt point, but wish I had. Image found here.

This is not a post

2006-01-18T23:19:00.000-05:00

This is not a post but... Ive been working on Shedus car all day and feel that it exempts me from this 24 hour period. I will, in order to keep in good faith, post before I go to bed tonight.

The Juice

2006-01-17T13:43:00.000-05:00

All my dreams have come true. Last night we were shopping for groceries and looking for a juicer. Not a big fancy machine the pulverizes fruits and vegitables but ono of the ones where you cut the orange in half and twist it on the thing in the middle and the juice is collected in a container under it. While we were looking we came upon a clearance endcap that had various appliances. There were a couple of coffee machines there and my lovely wife asked jokingly, "is that coffee machine $5?" I looked at it and it was $6.90. My hatered for the coffee machine that we have at home allowed me to pluck one of the clearance items off the shelf quicker then you could say 64. Finally, after 4 long years, we can have the coffee machine out without it interfeering with the opening and closing of the cupbords. Image found here.

Dear Hunter

2006-01-16T22:42:00.000-05:00

Watch it!

Pheesh and Cheeps

2006-01-16T02:31:00.000-05:00

Theyre living in a bowl of cherries.

Im Perfectly Willing To Home School The Child

2006-01-13T15:34:00.000-05:00

I may be the only one who noticed this, and Im almost certain Im the only one who cares, but some of you blogging newbies are neglecting to align your text with the tops of the images. What the hell am I talking about you ask. Look here, here and here. Youll notice that the images are higher than the first line of text. Here, here and here however they line up beautifully. (Do everyone a favor and never look to this blog for formating advice.) This isnt youre fault of course. Its a flaw in Blogger. When you upload the image it automatically puts a line break in after it. In order to fix this all you have to do is delete it. If you write your post in the Edit Html field then after uploading the image delete any spaces between the beginning of your text and the end of the anchor tag. If you use the Compose field then just delete the spaces between the text and image. Another thing that you might want to do every couple weeks or so is republish your entire blog. This updates all the indexes on old posts. To do this click on the "Posting" tab and click Status then Republish Entire blog. O ke doke, Ive gotten that off my chest now. Just for good measure... Shedubeard has sex with boys.

How Many More Times

2006-01-12T15:10:00.000-05:00

As of late, Shedubeard has accused me of filling my blog with garbage. He says that my movie review system: Watch it!, Watch it., Watch it?, Dont watch it?, Dont watch it., Dont watch it!, is "a copout". I have previously explained why I use this method of reviewing and dont see how its any less worthy of review status than any other movie review. How often do you actually read Ebert and Ropers reviews? Never, you just see how many thumbs they gave it. Ill say it again, if you dont think its a valid review then do me a favor and shut up and look here for your reviews and not my website. Now with validity of review out of the way, Ill address whether it should be considered to be a post or not. I cant imagine why a movie review would be considered an illegitimate post. Its certainly as viable as posting something you read at work on the bulletin board. Or a discussion you and your wife had about her funeral arrangements. Not to mention the whiney trip through Pheeshland that prompted this post. Now I hope youve gotten it out of your system Shedu. If you cant live up to a post every 48 hours just bring your knees over and Ill do whats necessary. Am I mad about the Shedus comments? No, I just needed something to blog about and didnt get any Netflix today. Image found here.

Stepford Wives

2006-01-11T21:39:00.000-05:00

Watch it?

shedubeard.blogspot.com

2006-01-10T22:46:00.000-05:00

Read it?

Im Holding an Empty Bag

2006-01-09T21:51:00.000-05:00

"I bumped this guy from behind and now I dont have any balls."

Jackin Off

2006-01-08T23:55:00.000-05:00

Im rather upset. I thought my jack was fixed. Well its not. It doesnt lift shit and it upsets me. Tomorrow I have to bring it up to Sears to see if they can fix it. After they tell me they cant I have to decide whether or not to buy another 'cheep' Craftsman jack or drop some money (credit card debt) on a good jack. Either way Im fucked. No, no, Im just fucked.

Giant

2006-01-07T23:59:00.000-05:00

Watch it!

Brokeback Mountian

2006-01-07T00:52:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

Spring Cleaning

2006-01-05T23:50:00.000-05:00

With The Ugly Kids assistance, I finished cleaning my garage today. Normally my garage is organized but has not been for the last couple days because for xmas I got a lovely work bench with metal pegboard. The damn thing took me about 4 hours to put together yesterday and that left me with no time to organize all my tools. We also finally hung the light fixture that Ikyam gave me back in July. Were talkin crazy lots of light in that garage now. Boo Ya. That picture is me in my garage. I dont know what that ladies doing there but she wont go away ever since I put all those suits in there. (Found here.)

What I Heard While I Was Out

2006-01-04T21:31:00.000-05:00

I was at Sears earlier today looking around at all the wonderful things I could spend my $30 gift card on. While I was there, this old man started yelling about something. I kept looking around but no matter where I went I could hear this crazy person. Things like, "Ive bought 4 saws, an air compressor and all my tools here!" "Im not going to take it over there youre going to do it and then have it sent to my house!" "My time is precious to me, Im not going all the way home and coming back. If you want it you can pick it up when you bring me a new one." I was very tempted to say something to this crazy person. I wanted him to hear what the employees, 4 of them by this point, wished they could have said. I didnt however, not wanting to make things worse, as they very likely could have become. After about 30 minutes of yelling the old man was finally satisfied. After he left, the employee who was receiving most of the aggression looked around; I was the only non employee in the vicinity. After I gave him a knowingly nod he said, "at least hes going to die before the rest of us." I responded "Its true" with a satisfied grin on my face. Image found here.

Kicking and Screaming

2006-01-04T21:29:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

Books on Tape

2006-01-03T19:39:00.000-05:00

I have been listening to The Chronicles of Narnia. My wife received them on CD from her mother for xmas. I was very apprehensive about them at first, fearing that they might be poorly produced. As I type the 5th book, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, is finishing, and I must say, they are amazing.

I Told You I Would Return, When The Robin Made His Nest

2006-01-02T13:14:00.000-05:00

Here are my New Years Resolutions for 2006.

Smoke less
No fast food
Post every day (click here for details)

Mom jokes have officialy become tellable. There is however a gentlemans agreement that they should only be used in moderation. Cartoon found here.

The Year in Review

2005-12-31T01:44:00.000-05:00

I was trying to think of a way to recap the year. This one, which I found on one of my wifes friends Xangas, reminded me of Ikyam and the good old days so I decided to give it a shot.

1. What did you do in 2005 that youd never done before?
Worked out an entire 2 weeks notice.

2. Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No, no, no. This does raise an interesting question though... Was the mom joke resolution a resolution for only 2005 and if so does that mean that they are fair game come the New Year?
I plan to make the first 2 resolutions again. Well see about anything else.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Crazy Mom and I think one of my cousins did. Perhaps they dont qualify as 'close' if I dont know.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
Self discipline.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I cant recall any specific dates from this year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passed the steering/suspension certification test.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Gaining back all 15 pounds I lost over the summer.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, this was another healthy year. Probably the worst thing was getting burned by the 'anti freeze' in my dads van. (I also didnt lose at euchre.)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The Bible I gave my wife.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My wife for making it through her hardest semester yet and not killing anyone.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My sister and mine for refusing to forgive my father.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Credit card bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Camping, cookouts and Mario Kart Tournaments.

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Weezers 'This is Such a Pity'.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Same.
ii. thinner or fatter? Same.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish youd done more of?
Exercise.

19. What do you wish youd done less of?
Eat and smoke.

20. How will you be spending this New Years Eve?
With my lovely wife, and anyone else who wants to come over.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
I fall in love all over again every time I see my beautiful wife. Awwwww.

23. How many one night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
My Name is Earl.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didnt hate this time last year?
"Friendly Neighbor". I have hated many people in my days but none as much as him. NONE!

26. What was the best book you read?
The Chronicles of Narnia

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I rediscovered Weezer with Make Believe.

28. What did you want and get?
Many many things.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
King Kong.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Worked, I think. 26.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Passing the brakes test the first time around.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
If it didnt get any unfixable holes or unwashable stains in/on it last year then its good enough for this year.

34. What kept you sane?
My wife, 64, tacos.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Probably Katie Holmes. She impressed me in Batman Begins. Plus, shes a little hottie.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I wanna say Terri Schiavo. Not because I cared about whether she lived or died or who got to decide on the matter. I was 'stirred' because of how Congress got involved. WTF?
But then I didnt even know she they let her die until 2 weeks after it happened. That means that the whole Katrina incident is probably my most stirring event.
Its really to bad that both of these issues can be categorized as political.

37. Who did you miss?
Katohater. I still 'talk' to him on the Google Talk almost daily but we miss having him over for cards and movies and the like.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
That would be Q from Hells Pizza. Im really not sure it it was this year or last that we met. But I know we didnt Hunter, Bear, Ninja until 2005 and I dont know that I could truly know anyone until Ive Hunter, Bear Ninjad with them.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
Unfortunately I dont learn so well.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
He used to do surgery, for girls in the 80s, but gravity always won.

xoxo,
Stemshul

Dodge Ball

2005-12-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

Watch it.

King Kong

2005-12-29T00:40:00.000-05:00

Watch it!

With Her While She Withers

2005-12-27T21:10:00.000-05:00

Id like to congratulate Pheesh and St. Marys brother. They both proposed to their lady friends on xmas and were told yes.

Xmas Part 2

2005-12-27T13:35:00.000-05:00

!!!WARNING!!! This post is stupid long and you may want to read it chapter by chapter. Prologue It all started on the eve of the holiday. I worked at high noon and by 5:00 when Ugly arrived I had amassed 2 whole deliveries. While I didnt make any money the shift proved to be a double edged sword and allowed me to cut out prior to the dinner rush and in time to tell my wife to wait for me before leaving for Dutchland for xmas with her moms side of the family. Chapter 1 We arrived in Dutchland Minor early. St. Marys 7s grand parents, parents, brother and his new family have already arrived at Aunt Ruths house. Fortunately there werent enough chairs for the 14 of us, Especially since there were another 8 people still to come. The gift exchange at this event was in 2 parts. First everyone passes out all the cookie/candy/goodie baskets that they uniformly made for every other family. These gifts reflected the givers creativity : ambition : financial stability ratio. Some just went to Koezes and dropped a couple C notes on fancily packaged tasty nuts, some baked while others canned/jarred. Perhaps the tastiest treat was the homemade salsa Aunt Kathy made. (Just typing about it made me have to go upstairs and get some.) Next was the least exciting gift exchange Ive ever witnessed. Everyone who wanted to take part could was to bring a $20 gift certificate. All the certificates are wrapped/bagged/disguised and put into the center of the room on the floor. Cousin Jenny brings her "Jingo" (its link bingo only better because its xmased up) boards and cards and everyone playing gets one. If you get a Jingo, you then get to pick a gift card from the center. The next person to get Jingo picks another card and so on. If you are fortunate enough to get a second Jingo you are given the option to steal an already opened gift card or keep your card. With that celebration out of the way it was time to go home and rest up for the big day. Gift summary: Koezes Nuts, homemade salsa, homemade cookies, gourmet popcorn gift pack. (I did not take part in the $20 exchange.) Chapter 2 Early in the morning (11:00) we head over to my moms house. As is tradition St. Marys 7 goes and helps my step dad with breakfast and my little sister and I shake, rattle and roll all the presents under the tree in a glorious attempt to ruin the day. With the contents of all the packages calculated we eat a delicious breakfast of French toast, bacon burnt beyond recognition (my moms soul responsibility in the feast preparation) sausage and fruit. After a calculated insurgence on our food by the candle center piece we move to the living room to open presents. With no ridiculous games to guide us through the present opening ceremony we resort to more scientific means, youngest to oldest. Many wonderful gifts were given (I received the work bench I asked for) and my mother actually listened to my sister and my requests for no candy in the stocking this year. No candy other then the habitual chocolate letter that is. Unfortunately we were not given much time to visit and needed to move on to our next stop. Gift summary: Work bench, chocolate letter, visor sunglasses holder. Chapter 3 Next we rush off to St. Marys dads side of the family. At nearly 2:00 now we are definitely at least an hour late. Most of you know how I hate being late to things. I dont mind in this case. All this means is that I didnt have to sit in silence on 30 year old furniture in a small room filled with 20+ people. Im not sure why it is but these people dont talk to each other. Gifts are given as follows. Everyone who wants to puts their name in and then selects a random name from the collection of names. You then purchase a gift for that person totaling around $20-25. On top of this aunt Diane (the only unmarried child of grandma) gets everyone a gift that usually costs around $10. All the adults and older children get grandma gifts and she buys gifts for everyone. All these gifts are piled "under" the tree and whoever has the misfortune of sitting next to the tree after the game of musical chairs that we called eating dinner is over has to distribute them. This year I was on one side of the tree and St. Marys brothers lady friend was on the other. Had the other side been anyone else I would have just sat there silently and pretended I didnt know what was going on but since Im 7 years her senior in this crazy xmas gathering I put my cowardly ways aside and started handing out presents. I however, did not leave my chair. I just grabed a gift and passed it in the direction the person was in. This proved to be quite effective as there is no real order at this gathering and as soon as youre handed a present you open it regardless of weather someone else is opening one or not. I opted out on the pick a name exchange so that ment that my gifts were going to be a crapshoot. You dont ask Aunt Diane for anything because you dont want to assume that shes going to get you something. I did well and got a Frank Lloyd Wright month calendar. Grandma on the other hand usually goes out and gets stuff off peoples lists but this year wasnt up to it and decided to "do her shopping in her attic". Now Ive not spent a lot of time in the attics of old ladys but apparently there is some interesting stuff. The youngest 2 grandchildren, 2 15/16 year old girls, both got Tweetie Bird long underwear pajamas. I managed to get a pocket toolset and "The Amazing Safety Alarm". Fortunately she had the sense to include with everyones gifts $50 cash. Last and always least is the obligatory 2' tall decorative nutcracker from Uncle Dale in California. Gift summary: Calendar, pocket toolset, "The Amazing Safety Alarm", $50 cash, nutcracker. Chapter 4 The grand finally is over at the in laws house. First it should be said that 8 year olds are clever little beasts. As soon as we walk into the house we are told, by said 8 year old, that it is up to us to decide weather we should eat or open presents first. Smart enough to see through this rouse we say wed like to crush your dreams, I mean, eat first. Not to be out done the short one drags my unsuspecting wife into the living room to see her new puppy. Now we knew that this puppy was really just one of those god awful "breathing" contraptions that they try to push on you at the mall. It comes in a cleverly packaged box that has holes in it so that "it doesnt run out of air" and it has a fancy bed and if you dont know whats going on, or are 8, you could very easily believe that theres a real puppy sleeping in that box. And of course it wasnt wrapped so this little girl had spent the last 30 minutes looking at this box, filled with hope and desire. Filled to the brim with excitement at the thought of a brand new puppy for her to love and hold and squeeze. Abby (the 8 year old) tells St Marys to open the box and look at it. Assuming that everyone in the room knew the truth about this box, she does open it. "See it. Its my puppy. Wait? Its not breathing! Why isnt it breathing?!?! ITS DEAD!!!!" Very quickly it was decided that the kids should each be allowed to open 1 present (Abbys being the dead puppy) and it was explained to her that her puppy wasn’t dead, it was never alive. Its soul purpose is to deceive people into thinking its alive. When she realized that there were easily 25-30 other presents under the tree for here she got over the dead dog and agreed to eat something. We ate and by 8:00 were opening presents again. I received a lovely Eddie Bower combination tool and $30 gift card to Sears from Chris and Kari. Though I didn’t get many presents I did receive the biggest present, my desk. Now you might say, how do you dare ask for something so expensive? Well, I dont. I put it on my list as a challenge. It was accompanied with many other reasonably priced items, all of which would have been easier to acquire. While the desk was the only gift I received from my mother and father in law (other than a stocking full of strange goodies) it was accompanied with, what I can only assume is, a check for the amount of money they spent on the others minus the value of the desk. Looks like I should have asked for the hutch too. Gift summary: Desk, $50, $30 Sears Gift Card, Multi Tool, Stocking of Strange and Wonderful Things. Epilogue Before the 2 days for baby Jesus came to an end we had some of the regulars over for cards and eatings. God didnt want us to go sledding like we usually do. Oh well. We had a lot of fun and will sled another day.

Xmas Part 1

2005-12-26T20:27:00.000-05:00

I just want to say that I got my new desk and just finished setting it and my computer up and theyre beautiful. But, whatever you do, dont look behind me. Thats where all the stuff that was in the old desk is. A complete xmas 05 wrap up is yet to come...

I Talk of Freedom, You Talk of the Flag

2005-12-23T11:28:00.000-05:00

Ive always thought that Tom Cruise bore a strange resemblance to Zel Miller.

Watch this.