After a beautiful fight about audio archiving DnD the playing got started. Everything was going along swimmingly. Eddy L had his Jack and Popsi. Ugly Kid was arguing with Shedu in PC/NPC format. 
I was playing some Spider on the laptop. Shedu had the old iTunes shuffling through his oversized database of mp3 files. Suddenly everything stopped. Everything includes the DnD, the hint of anger lingering in the room and the ability to understand what any of us are doing in the world. Thats right... Esters Song came up next on shuffle. And so began the Turtle Dream.
Its been said that minimalism is a good thing. If kept in small doses. Well if thats true then why am I compelled to erase every audio file on my computer and burn every compact disc I have and replace it with every Meredith Monk album ever recorded? OooooooorrrhhhEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. OooooooorrrhhhEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. OooooooorrrhhhEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. 
And since I cant do that (my wife would kill me if I burned her Cheryl Crow albums) does that mean that we have to start a minimalist band? And if so how do you do that? Can you have a “band” and still be minimalists? What if your band accidentally had too many people in it? More than the minimum. What if, what if, what if, what if, what if I?|W|P|113059997700751484|W|P|"What Are Those Wierd Sounds?"|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com
katohater|W|P|i'm going to make some avant garde music and i think you should too.we can post it online and laugh at eachother.
Gimme some sugar baby.
Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla|W|P|113059763693404727|W|P|By The Time Your Children Are Fit To Live With Their Living With Someone Else|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com
Sorry but Ive been sitting on this one for a couple days now and have to say it. Recent measurements indicate that Shedubeards wife is dilated to 2 meters.|W|P|113028978362431326|W|P|Was It 4 Centuries Or For Centuries As Neil Would Put It?|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|i'll buy that for a dollar!
About 73 minutes ago I IMd Shedubeard to see what was up. He immediately responded “hang on”. When someone tells me to “hang on” I interpret that as “hey, Ive gotta do something really quick but I should be back in a couple minutes.” Unfortunately theres no telling what most of my friends actually mean…
The ugly kid… Well I dont want to address his time management system right now. Perhaps another time.
The Jew has been know to “power get ready”. What this means is that when we called him an hour after he was supposed to show up we woke him up. This is when the power get ready starts. Step 1: Go back to sleep for 2 hours. Step 2: Get woken up by your friends again. Step 3: Take 30 minutes doing your hair. Step 4: Show up more than 4 hours late.|W|P|113026589671044676|W|P|Once, Twice, 3 Times A Lady|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|hey, why aren't you mocking me? i deserve to be insulted to!>!>>(.(allow me to insult myself.
"hang on, i'll be over in a minute.
35 hours later.
sorry it took so long. traffic was a biz-natch."
David|W|P|You wanna be insulted? Here you go. The list was only about people who are my friend. Thats why you werent included. katohater|W|P|i'm so happy, it's like a wedding! vrblpollution|W|P|Ha ha. Stemshuls friends with a Jew! Stemshuls friends with a Jew!
The Roper called me this morning as I was getting ready to go to The Village. He asked if I could come in and drive. Hes not to bright because I was already scheduled to serve. He said that was ok, he needed a driver.
So I go in as a driver, doing them yet another favor, and its the same old shit. No appreciation what so ever. Fine. I dont do it to be praised. I dont expect them to erect any statures in my honor because I cover shifts for them ALL THE TIME. Im a big boy and have plenty of self confidence. I know Im one of the best workers there and everyone else knows it too.
Heres what really kills me about The Roper. It seems that hes at odds with you no mater the situation. Like today, he took the order for the only delivery of the afternoon. It had most of the information but it didnt have a business name. I asked him if he knew what the business name was and he said know. I said that its very helpful to have business names because sometimes the address isnt visible from the road. Then he proceeded to say “well I got the suit number. What more do you want? Do you want me to get their nationality? Or how about their eye color? I didnt say anything. One thing I told myself when I left Hells Pizza is that its not worth arguing with stupid people. Unfortunately not putting up a fight is compelling me to simply punch people.
Later in the day I over heard The Roper say; “It wouldnt be the first time someone stabbed me with a knife and it probably wouldnt be the last either.” If you only knew fat man.|W|P|113026455805020255|W|P|2fer Tuesday|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|same shit, different company. morons rule the world, so we have to be better than them. i will not die a subservient chicken. vrblpollution|W|P|I have had a moment of clarity, an ephinany if you will; Pizza places suck to work at. The hard workers get treated either the same as the shitty ones, or make .$25 less an hour. Come with me the the mecca of beef.
Wow, give me a yarmulke and call me hairy, I have not been on the Blogger lately. Here we go... As a member of the Costco Nation you are expected to make some sacrifices in the name of good value. They carry most products but not every brand. When there isnt a name brand product youre stuck with the Kirkland Signature. More often than not this is not a problem. The yogurt however is not suitable for consumption. If it wasnt for the fact that you refrigerate yogurt, it would be said that it resembles a burst of hot cum forcing its way down your throat. At first I thought it was just the blueberry ones. Im not a big fan of blueberry yogurt. It turns out that the strawberry is the same. Boo Kirkland Signature yogurt!|W|P|113026314848063831|W|P|1 Is The Loneliest Number|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|heat the yogurt to 98.6F then put it in a turkey baster and inject it into your mouth.you know you want to.
(please videotape and upload)
It was just brought to my attention that I neglected to link my little sisters Xanga up on the old blogs list. How did that happen? I had every intention of putting it on there. Oh well. Its there now.|W|P|113000541656498411|W|P|Just About As Funkey As You Can Be|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|is that a real show/movie?i would like to see that very much, please, thanks.
Remember when you would watch American Idol because they were doing the preliminary cuts and every now and then youd get a guy who really sucked and it was fun to laugh at him? Well every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night I get to laugh at those people at work. The Village hosts karaoke and its just like the first couple episodes of AI. Most of the people cant sing but go up there balls out and let it rip. Occasionally therell be a person who can sing and thats kinda fun because they really get into it and its almost as good as a cover band.
Another observation Ive made over the last couple months is that a large percentage of the participants are mentally, socially or physically deficient. Weve got retards, paraplegics, rednecks, and mutants. Then theres the people who like to slut it up. They get all rock starred out then get on stage.
Im not saying any of these people should stop karaoking. I do have one request though. Stop picking songs that have long instrumental breaks. Yeah Im sure you love Free Bird and Stairway but do you know how stupid you look during those guitar solos?|W|P|112943647797878681|W|P|Fear Factor|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|why aren't they busting out the air guitar? bill and ted are really upset by this. David|W|P|Oh they do.
Last night at work The Ugly Kid and I were talking about playing a little DnD. The next step is, of course, to call Shedubeard and see what he thinks about it. He answers the phone and I ask him what hes doing that evening. "RnP?" he says. (For those of you who dont know RnP is on of the DnD games involving Ugly and I.) I say yes, yes that is what youre doing. Then he says "no... I cant..." HUH?!?!?!? WHY WOULD YOU SUGGEST THAT YOU WANT TO PLAY WHEN YOU "CANT"? I dont know if Professor Pregnant was sitting next to him and told him he couldnt. (This would have been fine. The womans about to burst and certainly has priority on her husbands schedule.) Heres the excuse he gave. Weve got a lot going on the next couple days with the wedding. Huh??? What wedding. I know that one of the Professors friends is getting married and shes quite involved with that. What this has to do with Shedus schedule at 10PM I dont know but that was his excuse.|W|P|112922445276950914|W|P|Excuses And The Excusing Excusers Who Excuse Them|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|let me guess...the wedding is being conducted at the shedu house.
if you say that i'm right, i say that i know i am.
I just went and took a couple state mechanics certification tests. Its hard to say how I did. It wouldnt surprise me one bit if I didnt pass either test. But then I really dont know how I could have done any better. Some of the questions were very specific and I did well on those for the most part. The others seemed very vague. In the end I had at least a d4s chance on each question and in 6-4 weeks the results should be in my mailbox.|W|P|112913768844323212|W|P|Got To Get This Monkey Off My Back|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|the monkey likes your back. it's the ideal strategic position for flinging poo.is that agent smith in the picture? "mr. an-der-son..."
David|W|P|I have no idea who that is or what position that monkey prefers. I just google image searched and got that bad boy.
You know how when you grab a jar of jelly you get a satisfied feeling. Theres something about those glass jars that makes you feel good about eating jelly. Thank god they dont put jelly in those wimpy plastic jars.
Wait! What? Plastic jelly? Its not exactly a new invention. Ive had it in my house for a couple months now. How could I betray the glass jar you ask. Ill tell you. These plastic jars are amazing. Not only do they miraculously maintain the glory and prestige of the glass jar but you dont have to worry about dropping it. (A problem associated primarily with pickles but also a concern among jelly eaters.) So next time youre in the grocery store and you see that plastic jar sitting next to the glass one dont shun it. Give it a shot. You wont be disappointed.|W|P|112905404281841049|W|P|Michelles Jelly|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|one time, my sister dropped a glass jar of jelly on the ground. it was some gourmet kind (i think it cost around $5 for the jar). she cleaned it up as best as possible and tried to eat it.do you know what happens when shards of glass get into your intestines? bad things happen.
after one extremely careful bite, my sister decided it wasn't worth it, and threw the $5 mess away.
whose shoes are those?
vrblpollution|W|P|I think you already know whose shoes those are Kato. And Stemshul, tell the Jew the next time you see him that he needs to pick up his pack of oral contraceptives from my house, as per my last repair from A and A auto. Jaime|W|P|I wish they were my shoes! I used to have shoes like that...I would wear them every day. They are called jelly shoes ya know...I'm assuming you googled michelle's jelly for that one.Anyway, excellent post honey, I thoroughly enjoyed it...A+.
Jen|W|P|JELLIES!!!!!!!!!!!
I just watched Peter Jacksons Heavenly Creatures. I was told that its a lesbian movie so I was a little disappointed to find out the main characters were 14 year old girls. Aside from that it was good. Watch this movie.|W|P|112897106826492179|W|P|Black Country Woman|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|i really don't understand what people find so great about "heavenly creatures". i saw it back when peter jackson's portfolio was limited to "dead alive" and "bad taste".so, stemshul, what did you like about the movie?
or is it that peter jackson can do no wrong after the lord of the rings?
that's right. i just called you out.
David|W|P|A long time ago I used to spend a lot of time writing reviews on movies. None of my reviews were very interesting and they were always interpreted as either, I love a movie or I hate a movie. Since then Ive decided to keep my opinion simple and short. Either watch this movie or dont watch this movie. A watch this movie doesnt mean it was the best movie ever and dont watch this movie doesnt mean it was the worst movie ever. (Unless Jodi Foster is in it.) If you want an in depth analysis of a movie watch it yourself and send yourself a postcard about it. And no, its got nothing to do with Lord of the Rings. katohater|W|P|that clears everything up.i feel so much better now. thank you.
for good reviews, please visit: shoot the hostage
David|W|P|Do it. You wont find any good reviews here.
In this post Big Um states that Christians are "condescending, egotistical, self righteous bastards who would rather impart their doctrine on others than live be their own self professed creed." Hmmm. I didnt know Christians and former Hells Pizza area managers had so much in common.
I know a boy named Slayer. Slayer isnt the smartest person Ive ever met but he has a good heart. He was raised in a Christian home and never knew anything else. He has very strong convictions about his beliefs even though hes not smart enough to back them up. He is one of the best examples of blind faith that I can point to in my life.
I used to work with Big Um and Slayer. If Christianity would ever come up, even in the slightest Big Um would get very defensive. For him the best defense is to be loud and offensive. He would talk about the inconsistencies in the Bible, "disprove" miracles and do whatever it took to persecute Slayer for his beliefs. As the discussion progressed into an argument Big Um would just yell louder and fat his way around the kitchen until no one else could be herd. I still dont know what his contempt for Slayers beliefs stems from but it certainly brought out a lot of fear and paranoia.
A side note on historical accuracy. The Bible was not "re-written by a king". I think what this is referring to is the King James Bible. This edition of the Bible was constructed by the Protestant Clergy under the permission of King James. Click here for a detailed time line.|W|P|112862585741490099|W|P|Its Like A Free Ride, When Youve Already Paid|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|doesn't the king james one have all them olden days words? thees and thous and shits.i don't believe in that one.
vrblpollution|W|P|I don't ever remember persecuting Slayer for any of his beliefs. Slayer is a good kid, and has incredible potential(personality wise that is). As for me being loud and offensive......Stemshul drinks his own pee. vrblpollution|W|P|By the way, what exactly does fat around the kitchen mean? David|W|P|Im sorry. What I ment was loud, offensive and clever! vrblpollution|W|P|BOOM BABBA BOOM BABBA BOOM! (me fatting around the kitchen)
|W|P|112836657705558861|W|P|One More|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com
Its 1:45 at this time and of course theres only 1 check out lane open. Fortunately theres only one person in line and it appears that most of her items have been scanned. The casher finished bagging the rest of her cloths. (Yes the woman is doing her wardrobe shopping at 1:30 at the supermarket.) What happens next is amazing. The casher realizes that for the last 5 minutes he hasnt scanned anything that hes put into a bag. WTF? I thought it was a little funny that there was no beeping and everything was just being put into bags but I assumed that he had scanned one item and multiplied it. Fuck me. Everything comes back out and gets scanned. Then the lady decides she wants to pay with a check. Youve got to be kidding me. Who pays for groceries with a check in this day and age. I havent written a check at a business in years. I dont think you can get a checking account without an accompanying debit/credit card anymore and its so much faster to use the card. I seriously almost kicked the womans cart over and set her check book on fire.|W|P|112836501974879068|W|P|So Sally Can Wait|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com katohater|W|P|where's the u-scan-it express? Jen|W|P|What is this three posts in one day...who do you think you are Kato???? katohater|W|P|he does. he's getting all upons.so, stemshul, has your identity been thefted lately?
Im assuming all of you know what Christians are. Most of you know them, some of you are them. 1 or 2 of us are married to them. Generally speaking they are a good group of people. In my opinion they only have 2 major flaws. 1: Many of them are hypocrites. 2: They feel obligated to indoctrinate everyone they meet. Yes I know these are generalizations and dont fit everyone in the group. What were going to be looking at here is #2.
I was waiting on a table Saturday night. We were getting along smashingly. The husband kept making jokes at my expense (Can I get you anything else? Yeah, how about a winning lottery ticket? Or how about this one… How does everything taste tonight? Horrible! … Oh really? What seems to be the problem? … Im just kidding! Heh heh heh.) and I kept hitting on his wife. When they seemed to be done I brought the bill out and explained that I could take it up whenever they were ready. (We didnt order the bill! Heh heh heh.) Later I came back and he was getting the money together so I asked if he was ready for me to take it up. He told me that it was all set and handed me the money. Whats this? It appears that I have been solicited. The money is neatly slipped into a pamphlet that has a picture of a Hummer on it. Who in their right mind would ever think a waitress could afford a Hummer. (Especially if they only tip 8%. GRRRR) Oh wait! This whole thing is just telling me how Im a sinner and going to hell. FUCK YOU! Who the hell do you think you are. Im not going to hell. Maybe in your world of judging and hypocrisy I am but I know Ill be with god when my days are done. Fuming I walked back to the table. Fortunately I had a moment of clarity just as I approached it and simply grabbed some dirty dishes. Whats worse is this isnt the first time this has happened and I know it wont be the last.|W|P|112836210675446533|W|P|The Great Commission|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com
Beth Danae|W|P|very creative blog title.. And I understand your comments regarding being evangelized by your patrons who are lousey tippers no less. I am a believer in God, but saw something interesting the other day which I agreed with... "I have no problem with God, its his fan club I don't like.." katohater|W|P|what was the pamphlet about? find jesus get a free hummer?i can't believe those "vehicles" even exist in today's society. the fact that there are enough idiot people buying them to warrant keeping them on the market astonishes me.
as far as christianity is concerned... god is love. the rest of it is rather insignificant if you really think about it. everyone always asks "what would jesus do?" but very few ever do what jesus did. it's not hard. unfortunately, most people can't stop being selfish for even ten seconds.
then again, maybe she's born with it. maybe it's maybelline.
vrblpollution|W|P|Chrisitans should not be aloowed to eat out. I got one of those pamphlets about three weeks ago. I am going to print up my own atheist papmhlets and hand those out. Then I will get to see the uncomfortable look in their eyes as they mumble thanks and shove it in their pockets. Chritianity=cult. What's up with the Jew? Wants everyone to tithe their income. Jew!
Jaime|W|P|Oh, hey...did I mention how much I hate DND players? They are such losers because they all dress up and sit around a fire sacraficing virgins and small animals...after that they all dance around naked and argue about how much experience they should be awarded. I know these are all generalizations, but I don't care...besides all these faults, they're generally an okay group of people I guess. Oh yeah, and did I also mention the other day at work when this real bitch came in and started making fun of everyone so I got back at her by hitting on her boyfriend all night? Yeah...that was awesome. Jaime|W|P|Oh yeah...and stupid people should not be "aloowed" to voice their opinions.vrblpollution=verbal diarrhea
During the last few days I watched Man on Fire, played more Final Fantasy II and went to see Little Shop of Horrors. St Marys 7 summed up LSoH pretty well so Im not going to bore you with that. Man on Fire was good. Its nothing amazing but definitely worth watching. Watch it.What I really want to write about though is Final Fantasy II. This is probably my favorite FF game of all time. The reason its so awesome is you get to determine how your characters level up. Rather than just getting experience and certain characters excel at certain things you choose what theyre good at. Some people might not like this but thats because theyre stupid and incapable of thinking.|W|P|112835810245149148|W|P|In My Time Of Dying|W|P|stemshul@gmail.com